I am old enough to have actually used a machine that operated through the use of mechanical "arms" that, when you depressed a key, would rise up and strike an ink ribbon resting just off a sheet of paper, leaving a letter of the alphabet [or a number, or punctuation marks] imprinted on the paper. And eventually, the piece of paper would contain a message that could be read. The machine was called a "typewriter", and you can probably still see one in a museum. It was a long and tedious method of communicating, but it worked reasonably well, for its time.
Before that, believe it or not, there were telephones which did not have the ability to text, or send emails, or reach the Internet, or even tell you the time. These devices were attached to walls, and could only be used for talking to other people. Strange as it seems, communication worked fairly well through these ancient devices.
In even earlier times, communication over long distances took place through Morse Code [a series of dots and dashes - no chance of misinterpreting that, right?], "snail" mail [by the time it arrived, the situation addressed may have already changed], smoke signals, drums, and other methods. Weird, right? Aren't you glad we live in a time when communication is instantaneous and reliable? Aren't you glad that, with our own methods of communication, we never have to worry that our thoughts will be misconstrued or misinterpreted or misunderstood?
That, of course, is not the way it works. Even with our ability to instantly communicate via the written word, the danger of misinterpretation exists. And the fault for the misunderstanding could lie with either the reader or the writer. Maybe the writer didn't adequately express the idea he or she was trying to communicate. Maybe the reader understood the words, but failed to understand the context in which they were being used.
The very fact of the instantaneous nature of today's communication adds to the issues of misinterpretation. We have probably all seen it happen when people [other people, obviously, not you or me!] exchange texts or Facebook comments so quickly that it is unlikely that any deep and serious contemplation of the message received is taking place before the reply is sent, significantly increasing the opportunities for misunderstanding to take place.
The problems that arise from speaking too quickly did not begin with the advent of modern instant communication. This issue has haunted Man for thousands of years, perhaps even since the Beginning. We were warned against this problem by a wise man a long time ago - "Do you see a man who is quick with his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him." - Proverbs 29:20.
And that’s just one of the problems when it comes to the potential for misunderstanding or misinterpretation in today’s world of instant communication across vast distances. The study of non-verbal communication is both complex and fascinating. Some researchers have concluded that non-verbal communication makes up 90 plus percent of how people interpret what is being communicated to them. [Interestingly, other researchers have concluded that the ones who believe it’s 90+ percent are the ones who have misinterpreted the data!]
In any event, no one doubts that non-verbal communication is extremely important. But all of that is lost when people try to communicate in any way other than face-to-face. Thus, our world of instantaneous written communication is the perfect environment for misinterpretation to bloom and grow.
And I get it. I’m bringing all this up in a blog – a form of communication that is not face-to-face, and therefore subject to misinterpretation. Why?
Despite usually being very careful with my written words, I can think of at least three times over the last few years when what I have written has been misinterpreted – either by the person to whom I was writing, or by someone who happened to see what I had written. Of course, it goes without saying that there must be other times when this has happened. But these three instances I do recall, especially the one that happened last night when something I wrote, in a genuine attempt to show sympathy, generated an angry response, complete with an obscenity for good measure. This response did not come from the person to whom my message was directed. It came from someone who happened to see what I had written, and who completely misinterpreted what I was trying to communicate.
To say I was shocked by this response would be an understatement. My mind was spinning from the unexpectedness and the savagery of the attack, and I started doing what anyone in my shoes would have done – I started warming up my typing-fingers to go to war with my attacker. I mean, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”, right? Well, that might not be the best analogy, but you get what I’m getting at, don’t you?
The thing that saved me from becoming the fool that Solomon spoke of in Proverbs 29:20 was the fact that the person to whom my original message was directed leaped into the fray and defended me to my attacker. This very sweet defense apparently cooled my attacker’s blood, and it certainly cooled mine. I was again reminded of the wisdom of Solomon: “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” – Proverbs 15:1.
There are many lessons here. We must be so very careful with our words, both written and spoken. The chances for misinterpretation will exist under the best of circumstances, and the consequences of misinterpretation can be terrible. In reflecting back on what I wrote last night, I can sort of see how one of the words I selected could possibly have been a trigger for someone, especially if that person was in pain and looking for something upon which that pain could be vented. The old adage, “Hurt people hurt people”, is sad but true, and I think that may have been what happened to me last night.
But the foremost lesson I get to take away from all this, especially from the events of last night, is this – what a blessing it is to have someone who will save us from ourselves. Because, despite the brutality and undeserved nature of the attack on me, the only way I could have really been hurt last night would have been by stooping to responding in anger to my attacker. That would have been a direct, and legitimate, reflection on me and on my character. Sad to say, this is exactly what could have happened, with all of its sad consequences, if someone had not stepped up to save me from myself. And my defender didn’t just make me walk away, angry and unsatisfied. Instead, my defender painted a picture of me to my attacker [and also, incidentally, to anyone else who might happen to come across this exchange, and even to me] that far exceeds the reality.
That, my friends, is grace. It’s a great gift to receive. It’s unearned and undeserved. And it changes everything! May someone give you some grace today.
And, if you happen to read or hear something today that seems a bit “off”, that doesn’t ring true, that might be subject to misinterpretation, you should know that grace is also a great gift to give. It’s unearned and undeserved. And it changes everything! May you give someone some grace today.
Ambrose Ramsey | Shepherd
