801.  That’s a pretty good number, right?  

Actually, it depends on what’s being counted.  What if 801 is all of the coins that I have in this world?  It’s bad if the coins are all pennies, and it’s not that much better if they are all Susan B. Anthony dollars.  But, what if they are all ancient Spanish golden doubloons?  That’s probably going to be life-changing.  

As it turns out, 801 is the precise number of Facebook “friends” that I have – at least as of the moment that I type this.  As it turns out, a list of “friends” in today’s Social Media world is not exactly etched in stone.  Instead, your list of “friends” can be an ever-changing document.  “Friends” on Social Media can and do come and go very quickly.  Just try posting something even mildly controversial on your Facebook feed, and watch what happens.  Some of your so-called “friends” will run from you as though your thoughts were both deadly and contagious.  Is that what a friend has come down to in these times – somebody who will never offend you?  

This thought of a list of “friends” caused me to take a look at my current list.  Strange – there are names on this list that I cannot exactly place in my mind.  Who are some of these folks?  How did they get on my list?  Surely everyone on my list is there because they are people who are important to me, who mean something special to me, who have been a significant influence in my life.  That’s what friends are for, right?     

Okay, so modern Social Media might not be the ultimate source for the development of the kinds of legendary friendships of which songs and stories have been written - friendships forged in the fires of battle, and tested through difficult times, and proven through sacrifice.  We love learning about such friendships because they show us what can be possible in a world where it is increasingly difficult to be close to our fellow human travelers.  These kinds of friendships truly show Mankind at its finest.  Nope, don’t go looking for those kinds of friends on Facebook.    

And that’s not a put-down of Facebook or any other of today’s Social Media.  That’s simply not what those tools were designed to do.  Every tool has its uses, and it cannot be faulted if it does not and cannot do something that it was never supposed to do in the first place.  

Have you ever had a great friend?  It’s kind of a rare thing.  Few of us will ever have more than one or two truly great friends in our lifetimes.  But what a blessing when they are here!

And don’t we all want to be blessed?  To receive the blessings that our friends bring to us?

It became clear to me recently that such has been my default mode.  Oh, I probably wouldn’t have put it in those exact terms.  I probably wouldn’t have said that the joy of receiving the benefits of friendships is the reason I want to have friends.  But, something happened recently which exposed a pretty selfish portion of my desire for friendships.  And it happened fully, plainly, and without any doubt.  And sadly, this event made me aware that this could not have been the first time such a thing had happened in my life.  Oh no; this event was far too familiar, and it was far too reminiscent of other such occasions and circumstances to have been a “one-time miss-step” on an otherwise well-spent journey in a lifetime of friendships.  This was not the first time I had been a “taker” instead of a “giver”.  This was not the first time that I had a good friend, but had failed to be a good friend.

Frankly, figuring out that I have another big flaw isn’t exactly a “STOP THE PRESSES” kind of story, is it?  Want to know the part of this story that actually is hard to believe?  When I attempted to apologize for my selfish behavior, for being such a terrible “friend”, my friend would hear none of it.  According to him, there was nothing to forgive, and everything was, and had always been, completely fine with our friendship.  And, once again, I received the blessing –the undeserved blessing of friendship.  True friendship – what a gift!    

I hope you have had a friend like that in your life.  That’s the kind of friend I want to be when I grow up.  Maybe now is a good time to start.                    

Ambrose K. Ramsey III

Shepherd