It seems like it wasn’t all that long ago.  I remember it well.  And yet, more than 40 years have come and gone since then.  A whole new Century – shoot – a whole new Millennium has begun since then.  [I’m guessing that the percentage of the human population since The Beginning who could say that they experienced both a new Century and a new Millennium during their lifetime is pretty small!]

It was my senior year in college.  I was toying with the idea of Law School, but nothing was solidified about that yet.  The future wasn’t exactly crystal clear for me.  My roommate was also wondering about his life path.  And so, there were moments in which we would talk of the future, and wonder, and even dream of what might lie ahead.

It was in some of those moments that the general outline of an idea was presented.  And I don’t remember whether it was him or me who first threw it out as a possibility.  It seemed like a joke at first.  I’m pretty sure we both laughed, and said “No way!”, and went on to other things. 

But, it wasn’t long before this idea actually started to seem like less of a joke, and more like a possibility.  Or at least more like something that was worthy of deliberate consideration.  And so, we did give it consideration – actually some fairly serious consideration.

The idea?  To become a long distance trucking team.

Crazy, right?  I mean, we hadn’t actually spent the last three plus years in college only to take on a job that we could have done without the benefit of a college degree, had we?  Well, it was kind of starting to look that way.  [Now, in the interest of full disclosure, neither of us had actually brought up and discussed this whole idea with our parents who, no doubt, would have been less than enthusiastic about this “dream”.  Maybe that shines a little more light on just how serious our thinking about this really was.]

Still, as I recall, we did more than just talk and dream.  I’m pretty sure we did at least some actual research to see what possibilities existed in a trucking career.  And, if you are younger than me, you might not really know that all of this was taking place during what was no doubt the very zenith of the time when truckers were enjoying a lot of general popularity.  There were trucking songs on the radio.  There were even movies about this business.  The CB Radio was a device that people wanted in their cars just so they could listen in to the truckers as they communicated on the road.  So, perhaps we can be forgiven for thinking that this could be our career path.  It sure seemed like a great combination of freedom and responsibility and fun, with the added benefit of getting to travel and see the wonders of this Nation, while allowing us to continue our friendship beyond the college years.

Well, obviously, none of this ever came to pass.  In fact, the thing that quickly squashed the whole crazy idea was – can you guess?  Yup – a girl!  My roommate found himself suddenly so head-over-heels in love that, not only did he forget about being a trucker with me, he actually dropped out of school  - during our very last semester – the semester in which he and I would complete our degree requirements and graduate – all so that he could get a job so they could get married.  Talk about crazy!  Worse than that, he did all this practically over night!  The way I remember it, he got up one morning, said he was leaving, and that was it.  He was gone, along with his share of the rent for our apartment.  And along with him went whatever thoughts I had about being his partner in driving an 18-wheeler across this Nation from sea to shining sea.  Suddenly, all my “plans and dreams” were gone.  Suddenly, I had to get serious about what the future was actually going to hold for me. 

And yes, I’m quite happy with the way things turned out!  [And, in case you’re wondering, my old roommate and the girl are still married and doing well!]

So, what brings this up?  Last night, I called one of the great friends I knew for many years before college.  This friend actually is a long distance trucker.  When I asked him where he was, he had to think for a while before he remembered that he was somewhere in Ohio.  Hmmm, maybe driving a truck day after day after day isn’t always an exciting, never-to-be-forgotten experience. 

He also told me during our conversation that maybe the idea of seeing this Nation from the cab of a big truck isn’t quite what I had envisioned it to be all those years ago.  He told me that while he was in the Baltimore area some time ago, he was looking forward to seeing Fort McHenry – the place that inspired Francis Scott Key to write “The Star Spangled Banner”.  But, just as he approached The Fort, the road took him into a tunnel under the river, and he never saw The Fort at all.  Apparently, stuff like this happens a lot for our truckers.       

But, I didn’t call my friend to talk about truck driving, and to experience through him what I missed out on all those years ago.  A couple of weeks ago, while he was on the road, his wife suddenly and unexpectedly died. Then came the trauma of getting back home and putting together a funeral and burial.  And a couple of days after the funeral, my friend was driving his big rig across the country again.  Except now, everything is different.

How do we deal with unexpected change?  What do you do with the sudden termination of all of the hopes and dreams of the future you had planned  - even if those plans were always kind of a joke, kind of not real?  What is it like to go through a surreal experience like my friend did a couple of weeks ago, only to suddenly find yourself back in reality, somewhere in Ohio?  With a million things still to do back home, in an empty house?  With “The Holidays” upon you? 

When I asked him where he was, I only in part meant his physical location.  I wanted to know where his heart was, where his head was, where his spirit was, where his future was.  And no, he wasn’t ready to get into all of that.  Not yet.  Now, it’s almost all he can do to start the truck, drive responsibly, and do what must be done each day.  Perhaps later, we will have a time for deeper and more difficult conversation. 

I look forward to it, and I dread it.  Because now, my friend is in that worst of all places.  He is alone.  What if I say the wrong thing?  What if I can’t think of anything to say?  What if he starts crying?  What if I start crying?  What if I just make things worse?

Sound familiar?  We’ve all been there.  Or we’re all going to be there.  And actually, that is good.          

Isn’t that why we’re here?

Ambrose Ramsey | Shepherd